Dirge (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bloodydirge) wrote2023-10-29 12:07 am
bloodydirge) wrote2023-10-29 12:07 am
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Dirge;
What is better--to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?
BASICS
origin: The Dark Urge
pronouns: she/her
race: drow
age: Drow equivalent of early 30s/thereabouts 200 years old
class: Paladin (Oath of the Ancients)
languages: Common, Elvish, Animal (when enchanted), Undercommon, just enough Infernal and Sylvan to get a gist but not speak
instruments: lute, lyre
APPEARANCE
5'4'', shoulder-length white hair, slim build, one light purple eye (or Volo's blue eye depending on canon point) and one red eye with black sclera. Fresh divot scar over her left eye, and an older scar across her mouth. Red tattoo that looks like a vortex coming from her black and red eye that goes down her neck. Metallic red eye shadow and eyeliner.
Dirge carries herself with a certain tired, restrained dignity, like self-discipline is her true religion. She also gives off the impression of bone-deep confidence in even the most uncertain situations, which tends to deter less confident people from challenging her.
But also, there's something about her that can make some people's hair stand on end. Maybe it's the intensity in her stare, or maybe it's how she lingers over combat observing the corpses of her enemies, but it can make more sensitive people uncomfortable.
Dirge carries herself with a certain tired, restrained dignity, like self-discipline is her true religion. She also gives off the impression of bone-deep confidence in even the most uncertain situations, which tends to deter less confident people from challenging her.
But also, there's something about her that can make some people's hair stand on end. Maybe it's the intensity in her stare, or maybe it's how she lingers over combat observing the corpses of her enemies, but it can make more sensitive people uncomfortable.
PERSONA
positive
Compassionate. Generous. Confident. Self-disciplined. Resilient. Thoughtful. Loyal. Determined. Tries really, really hard to be good.
Compassionate. Generous. Confident. Self-disciplined. Resilient. Thoughtful. Loyal. Determined. Tries really, really hard to be good.
neutral
Independent. Curious. Observant. Reflective. Enjoys learning new things, meeting new people, hearing stories, and playing music.
Independent. Curious. Observant. Reflective. Enjoys learning new things, meeting new people, hearing stories, and playing music.
negative
Prone to cynicism and defeatism despite constantly working towards a future she doesn't see herself in. Reluctant to show cheer or laugh out loud. Intense self-hatred. Constant craving for brutal murder of innocents. Struggles to maintain hope and motivation without anyone to support her emotionally, yet emotionally withdraws from people when she hates herself.
Prone to cynicism and defeatism despite constantly working towards a future she doesn't see herself in. Reluctant to show cheer or laugh out loud. Intense self-hatred. Constant craving for brutal murder of innocents. Struggles to maintain hope and motivation without anyone to support her emotionally, yet emotionally withdraws from people when she hates herself.
CHOICES
The Grove
Saved Arabella from Kagha, slaughtered the entire goblin camp in one day and released Halsin to save the grove and the refugees.
Saved Arabella from Kagha, slaughtered the entire goblin camp in one day and released Halsin to save the grove and the refugees.
Alfira
Dirge told companions early on about her amnesia and violent thoughts. When she murdered Alfira, she made no attempt to hide it and claimed full responsibility before withdrawing emotionally for a while.
Dirge told companions early on about her amnesia and violent thoughts. When she murdered Alfira, she made no attempt to hide it and claimed full responsibility before withdrawing emotionally for a while.
Tadpoles
Took tadpoles herself for the sake of better getting through this mess, but tried to talk companions out of doing the same.
Took tadpoles herself for the sake of better getting through this mess, but tried to talk companions out of doing the same.
Dream Visitor
Doesn't trust the Dream Visitor is saying everything they know, but also recognizes that she and everyone else are over a barrel and can't be picky about allies.
Doesn't trust the Dream Visitor is saying everything they know, but also recognizes that she and everyone else are over a barrel and can't be picky about allies.
BACKGROUND
Dirge was wrought from the flesh of the god of murder himself, Bhaal. She thought herself an orphan growing up until she was taken in by a Seldarine drow couple who loved and cared for her. She loved and cared for them as well, but as she grew, the Urge to kill grew as well. She brutally murdered her family and loved ones when she was the drow equivalent of a teenager, which was when the Cult of Bhaal discovered her and took her in.
The killing of her loved ones weighed heavily on her, and in an attempt to atone as an adult, Dirge left the Cult of Bhaal to join an order of paladins, swearing an oath to protect all that's good in the world. This wasn't necessarily because she had faith in other gods, but because she thought only the power of an oath and another god keeping her in line would stop the influence of Bhaal over her. She controlled herself for a time, growing to care for her comrades and having hope she could make up for the sins of her past. These hopes were dashed when her Urges overpowered her once more, and she murdered her entire Order.
She intended to kill herself afterwards, but first decided to make sure her dead comrades' affairs were in order and their families were notified of their demise. In this process, Dirge discovered that most of her comrades nursed secret pains and hurts they'd never confessed, and Dirge came to the understanding that she wasn't the only one who hated being alive, and decided she had actually done her comrades a service by taking them out of this miserable world. If only she could have destroyed their souls too so they wouldn't be playthings of gods after death as well.
She returned to the Cult of Bhaal wholeheartedly now, deciding that everyone in the world was just as miserable as she and thus would benefit from the mercy of death. In time, she met the Chosen of Bane, Enver Gortash. He embraced her and all her darkness, and together they plotted to create the Absolute. Dirge cared deeply for Gortash, but still intended to betray him in the end and destroy the souls of all Toril for Bhaal (and, of course, to end the suffering of lesser beings tormented by gods, just like herself).
But then Orin the Red betrayed Dirge and stabbed her brain, so Dirge forgot everything, left only with confusing violent desires and the lingering wish to be better than she is.
The killing of her loved ones weighed heavily on her, and in an attempt to atone as an adult, Dirge left the Cult of Bhaal to join an order of paladins, swearing an oath to protect all that's good in the world. This wasn't necessarily because she had faith in other gods, but because she thought only the power of an oath and another god keeping her in line would stop the influence of Bhaal over her. She controlled herself for a time, growing to care for her comrades and having hope she could make up for the sins of her past. These hopes were dashed when her Urges overpowered her once more, and she murdered her entire Order.
She intended to kill herself afterwards, but first decided to make sure her dead comrades' affairs were in order and their families were notified of their demise. In this process, Dirge discovered that most of her comrades nursed secret pains and hurts they'd never confessed, and Dirge came to the understanding that she wasn't the only one who hated being alive, and decided she had actually done her comrades a service by taking them out of this miserable world. If only she could have destroyed their souls too so they wouldn't be playthings of gods after death as well.
She returned to the Cult of Bhaal wholeheartedly now, deciding that everyone in the world was just as miserable as she and thus would benefit from the mercy of death. In time, she met the Chosen of Bane, Enver Gortash. He embraced her and all her darkness, and together they plotted to create the Absolute. Dirge cared deeply for Gortash, but still intended to betray him in the end and destroy the souls of all Toril for Bhaal (and, of course, to end the suffering of lesser beings tormented by gods, just like herself).
But then Orin the Red betrayed Dirge and stabbed her brain, so Dirge forgot everything, left only with confusing violent desires and the lingering wish to be better than she is.
COMPANIONS
Shadowheart
Dirge saved Shadowheart from the Nautiloid. Their relationship starts off cordial with the mutual understanding that they both benefit from a partnership, but warms as they discover they're both amnesiacs and Dirge makes it clear that Shadowheart's faith is her own business. It further warms when Shadowheart opens up, and Dirge thinks to give her an idol of Shar and a night orchid that she finds. She convinces Shadowheart not to kill the Nightsong, supports her in killing everyone in the House of Grief, and leaves the decision for what to do about her parents to Shadowheart herself.
Dirge saved Shadowheart from the Nautiloid. Their relationship starts off cordial with the mutual understanding that they both benefit from a partnership, but warms as they discover they're both amnesiacs and Dirge makes it clear that Shadowheart's faith is her own business. It further warms when Shadowheart opens up, and Dirge thinks to give her an idol of Shar and a night orchid that she finds. She convinces Shadowheart not to kill the Nightsong, supports her in killing everyone in the House of Grief, and leaves the decision for what to do about her parents to Shadowheart herself.
Lae'zel
The relationship starts off on shaky footing with Dirge refusing to allow Lae'zel to treat people poorly and with Lae'zel seeing Dirge's dedication to good deeds as foolish neivete. But it swiftly grows warmer and more steady as Dirge demonstrates her combat prowess as well as honest curiosity about githyanki culture, and Lae'zel chooses to trust when Dirge starts off with gentler approaches to problems than Lae'zel would. The relationship solidifies in loyal camaraderie when Vlaakith betrays Lae'zel, and Dirge supports Lae'zel in rebelling against her queen and seeking Prince Orpheus.
The relationship starts off on shaky footing with Dirge refusing to allow Lae'zel to treat people poorly and with Lae'zel seeing Dirge's dedication to good deeds as foolish neivete. But it swiftly grows warmer and more steady as Dirge demonstrates her combat prowess as well as honest curiosity about githyanki culture, and Lae'zel chooses to trust when Dirge starts off with gentler approaches to problems than Lae'zel would. The relationship solidifies in loyal camaraderie when Vlaakith betrays Lae'zel, and Dirge supports Lae'zel in rebelling against her queen and seeking Prince Orpheus.
Astarion
Their relationship starts off in a strange place where Astarion could clearly tell that something was up with Dirge, even though she tried really hard to be a goody two-shoes. He wasn't happy about being dragged into heroics, but she was very cool about him being a vampire and drinking her blood, so he couldn't be too mad. Dirge sleeps with Astarion early on and carries on a FWB relationship until after the incident with the drow in Moonrise, where it becomes clear how complicated Astarion's feelings about sex are and Dirge suggests they should just be friends, because that's what he needs right now. Their relationship remains warm and she encourages him to not Ascend and release all the spawn.
Their relationship starts off in a strange place where Astarion could clearly tell that something was up with Dirge, even though she tried really hard to be a goody two-shoes. He wasn't happy about being dragged into heroics, but she was very cool about him being a vampire and drinking her blood, so he couldn't be too mad. Dirge sleeps with Astarion early on and carries on a FWB relationship until after the incident with the drow in Moonrise, where it becomes clear how complicated Astarion's feelings about sex are and Dirge suggests they should just be friends, because that's what he needs right now. Their relationship remains warm and she encourages him to not Ascend and release all the spawn.
Gale
Gale's dry and occasionally awkward humor makes Dirge laugh despite her best efforts. Gale takes to Dirge quickly due to her dedication to helping others and how readily she finds magical items for him to consume. Dirge takes to Gale quickly because of how enthusiastically he teaches her about his passions and eventually shares stories about himself. Dirge is reluctant to get close to him, but falls head over heels in love despite herself.
Gale's dry and occasionally awkward humor makes Dirge laugh despite her best efforts. Gale takes to Dirge quickly due to her dedication to helping others and how readily she finds magical items for him to consume. Dirge takes to Gale quickly because of how enthusiastically he teaches her about his passions and eventually shares stories about himself. Dirge is reluctant to get close to him, but falls head over heels in love despite herself.
Wyll
Wyll and Dirge start off well with similar goals and desires to do good, but their relationship grows more shaky when the depths of Dirge's restrained depravity are revealed. It solidifies again as friends when Dirge makes it clear through her actions that she still wants to be better, and Wyll does his best to support her internal fight. Dirge encourages him to break his contract with Mizora, and then saves his father with him without Mizora's help.
Wyll and Dirge start off well with similar goals and desires to do good, but their relationship grows more shaky when the depths of Dirge's restrained depravity are revealed. It solidifies again as friends when Dirge makes it clear through her actions that she still wants to be better, and Wyll does his best to support her internal fight. Dirge encourages him to break his contract with Mizora, and then saves his father with him without Mizora's help.
Karlach
Their relationship starts off good and stays good. Karlach's cheer and optimism is a breath of fresh air that makes it easier for Dirge to lighten up, and Karlach appreciates Dirge's honesty and determination to do good even when it's hard. There's friction when Dirge tries to encourage Karlach to consider going back to Avernus to figure out how to fix up her engine, but it's mutually understood that this comes from a place of care and concern.
Their relationship starts off good and stays good. Karlach's cheer and optimism is a breath of fresh air that makes it easier for Dirge to lighten up, and Karlach appreciates Dirge's honesty and determination to do good even when it's hard. There's friction when Dirge tries to encourage Karlach to consider going back to Avernus to figure out how to fix up her engine, but it's mutually understood that this comes from a place of care and concern.
Jaheira
The relationship starts off shaky with a level of mutual distrust, but after saving the Nightsong and raiding Moonrise together, Jaheira decides to come along with Dirge and they develop a more 'aunt and niece' relationship. Jaheira, of all people, probably most understands what it means for Dirge to be Bhaalspawn, and the fact that she still believes Dirge can be a hero goes a long way for Dirge's hope.
The relationship starts off shaky with a level of mutual distrust, but after saving the Nightsong and raiding Moonrise together, Jaheira decides to come along with Dirge and they develop a more 'aunt and niece' relationship. Jaheira, of all people, probably most understands what it means for Dirge to be Bhaalspawn, and the fact that she still believes Dirge can be a hero goes a long way for Dirge's hope.
Minsc
Dirge is perpetually confused and baffled by Minsc and Boo. It takes a while for her to be comfortable enough to just accept the inherent weirdness, but she does have sincere conversations with Minsc about good, evil, and individual choice that helps both of them find common ground. Although Minsc assumed they were friends from the start, so maybe it's just Dirge finding the common ground.
Dirge is perpetually confused and baffled by Minsc and Boo. It takes a while for her to be comfortable enough to just accept the inherent weirdness, but she does have sincere conversations with Minsc about good, evil, and individual choice that helps both of them find common ground. Although Minsc assumed they were friends from the start, so maybe it's just Dirge finding the common ground.
Minthara
Dirge killed Minthara without recruiting her, and thus doesn't have many thoughts to spare.
Dirge killed Minthara without recruiting her, and thus doesn't have many thoughts to spare.
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